Pain and Suffering

Earlier this week, there was, in a nearby community, as horribly, tragic car collision. A car was hit - and hit hard - when another vehicle missed a stop sign at a four-way intersection on a rural road. The car he hit contained a young mom (29) and her three sons, ages 7, 4, and 18 months. The mom and the 18-month old son died instantly. The two older boys were taken to the hospital in critical condition. The following day, one of the older boys died; the next day, his brother died as well. This tragedy has left a husband/father to cope with the loss of his entire family, and I can't seem to stop thinking about this incident.

I think it has put grief and suffering into a different perspective for me. I realize grieve is subjective and can't be measured. We can't say, "My grief is greater than yours" because grief is so personal. Yet, to lose one's entire family, especially at that stage of life, must surely rank high if grief could be measured. How will this man process the loss of his wife (who was pregnant), AND the loss of Owen, AND the loss of Weston, AND the loss of Kaleb?? His entire life appears to have been obliterated!

I remember when Christina died. In those first few days following her death, I wondered how the world could still continue to go on, as if nothing happened. I had to go to the store for the usual household stuff: milk, toilet paper, bread. I felt like I was in a fog (and I was); I was at the store wondering how everything around me could just continue forward. I wanted the world to stop, even if just for a moment, to acknowledge that my daughter had died; but it did not. Life moved forward.

Today it was me who was part of the moving-forward-world, in spite of this man's tragic loss. Today it was me who continued with my life as if nothing tragic had happened; but then I would remember and it would bring me to a halt, even if just for a moment: a family died.

It seems pain and suffering is just part of the human condition. Nothing new about that; books have been written, songs have been composed, stories have been told - all about human suffering. Turn on the news and we see that it happens daily, everywhere, since the beginning of time. The only time we really, REALLY notice it is when it hits us directly or when it hits us near-by; otherwise, it is easier to simply dismiss it, minimize it as a fact or statistic, and silently shudder with relief that, at least this time, it wasn't us who was hit by tragedy.

And yes, along with my empathy and sympathy for this man and for his entire family, I also shuddered with relief knowing that in this moment, all of my loved ones are safe and sound.

Life is not fair.