"I'm Up On the Tight Wire"

It was a "Judy" kind of day...I could not get into the Zone even though I made several good attempts; there was always a reason why I couldn't sink into it. I feel a lot of guilt when I have days like these, and today's funk came unexpectedly and suddenly. The evening continued to feel uncomfortable, though I DID find something to entertain me on YouTube. In fact, it was a drive through video of the town where I grew up and it brought back images of my childhood, my adolescence, my young-mom years...and even my adult years to the recent past. Fate and Destiny loomed large alongside the images, and both the emotional and intellectual responses it illicited. Isn't it interesting that I grew up in that Small-Town-USA kind of community, and here I am still planning on trying to rent an old farmhouse to re-capture that hometown feeling? I must remain firm and rational: you can't go back. "Or can you?" asks the other side of my brain. Emotionally you most definitely CAN go back, sometimes whether you want to or not. To be able to go back, to start over, to try again...these are strategies i was taught as a child to utilize when trying to perfect a skill or accomplishment. The pre-requisit to going back though is to learn from the previous error or imperfection. It seems, in fact, that at some level, the Universe ITSELF provides us with replay opportunities! It's like the Universe says, "Okay, here we are again, but THIS time, you know so much MORE...so I'm giving you another opportunity to make things right." Yeah, it's just like that. And so I must proceed with caution, but also with a sense of being grounded...and most of all...BALANCED. "...Like a rubber-neck giraffe You look into my past Well, maybe you're just too blind to see I'm up in the spotlight Oh, does it feel right? Oh, altitude seems to get to me I'm up on the tight wire Flanked by life and the funeral pyre Putting on a show For you to see..." -Leon Russell, 1972